UAE scouting

[Mr Sharif]

Hallo. Me scouting in Uniteed Arab Emirates.

Me like football and has buyed team.

Me have lots of £££$$$££££ I sell oil.

Me want best players in world.

I see Henderson man is very prolific goals scores.

How much you want he must be big striker yes?

Me pay big $$$££££$$$ what you want I will give ok.

How much to buy Henderson?

[S2H]

Mr Sharif,

Thank you for showing an interest in this player.

I am pleased to tell you that you can take the 'Defender' off our hands for nothing, as you'd be doing us a favour.

I think you have been misled on his goal scoring abilities. He has a record of 2 goals in around 70-80 appearances for the mighty Badgers.

Let us know your decision Mr Sharif.

[Mr Sharif]

Mr.Henderson you say play 70-80 games, but in hard times yes?

This man prolific 2 goal in 2 games.

Defend man you say. This is good scorer me think.

I will pay you lot of money. How you say? Lots of monaaaaaaaaaay! ha ha me like Mister Enfield... lots of monaaaaaay. ha ha yes.

Me also need goal saver man. I see this player Franis? and play for very good team Nootinmam Wood yes?

Me want this man too.

I give you 16 camels and a shvinx yes. good deal me think.

Let me no.